Off to Rehab….

Well I’m out of detox and it’s off to rehab for me. I realise now, the only way I’m alive is because of the big man upstairs.

Prom Night. I went to prom with the attitude that it was probably my last night on earth. My sanity started to leave, when people began to grow fangs. I knew I was screwed. Death seemed like the best solution at the time. Of course—Anything that’s worth doing, is worth doing right.

I was using my “blend” of the gourmet speed. My heart was beating out of time. The sky was filled with these strange birds. People, who I knew for 4 years began to look like vampires. If I was going to die, I was going to do it in style. (my style, that is.)

I tried to kill my self on some screwed up drug-binge around two weeks ago. Somehow, after doing EVERYTHING I could get my hands on I lived. I was angry.

After prom, I tried to regain some sanity by partying the only way I knew how. I stayed up for around 3 days er so, and had a full blown psychotic break. It didn’t seem that way at the time but that’s what I was told in Peachford.

I finally made to the “crazy house”. I have no idea what hell is like but, I’m sure it’s close to going through detox. After staying up for 5 days with no sleep or food, I thought I was going to die. I remember praying something like “God, Ive turned my back on you my whole life so I’d be a hypocrite to ask for help now.” Although He Gave it to me.

For 4 years I lived so twisted that I didn’t know where sobriety or reality were. Well today I’m the happiest Ive ever been in my whole life even though I may be in rehab for 9-10 months. I just want to stay sober. NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES!

I have a genitic predisposition to be scitzophrenic. The doctor said I was for around 5 days. He said I pushed the envelope so far, that if I screw up this bad agian, My scitzophrenic symptoms may not go away.

It would quite easy to say that all this was a mistake. I truly believe the only true mistakes are those you don’t learn from.

“What Doesn’t Kill you, Only makes you stronger”

-Unknown

The Fallacy of Prom.(And I guess High School too)

Prom night is tomorrow . Right now, as I type this I know there are some dreading this day and others celebrating it’s arrival. Me, I don’t really care either way but I do get a weird sense of pleasure writing about it.

School is meant to teach us how to join  society as “productive citizens”. Extracurricular activities like sports and Prom are no different.

Anything school related has it’s winners and losers.Kind of like a big marathon that 600 14 year-olds start but only around 300 18 year-olds  finish. Like any race, It rewards the winners and forgets about the losers. Unlike a race however, Not everyone starts in the same position. I guess a description of the runners would help to make sense of this analogy.

You have the “athletics jocks”. They have a temporary advantage by starting around a mile before everyone else. I say temporary because few manage to keep their lead.

There is also the “pseudo models”. They tend to start just after the jocks and usually keep their lead.

“The Smart kids” tend not to start quite as far ahead Although, they have a significant advantage because of their steady pace.

That leaves everyone else. “The artsy kids”, “The social rejects”(crazies and druggies), “The non-model types”, and the “preblue-collars”. These folks start around the same position. Towards the back that is.

It’s fairly obvious to anyone with eyes how the race progresses. Some die. Some quit. Most will leave high school and begin work/college or better yet-start to multiply and divide.

Excuse my wordy and grandiose nature, at the end this will all make sense. Although I can’t promise you will like it. The truth is usually ugly.

There is one thing, that each and everyone, going through this meat grinder all have in common. They all have insecurity. Deep down, every single of these people have feeling of inadequacy. The dumb envy the smart, the ugly envy the pretty, the poor envy the rich, the losers envy winners and everyone feels inadequate to someone they see as superior. The grass always seems to be greener on the others side. Their are some that deny this, although an observer with a keen eye can see through this narcissistic shield. Those who happen to be the most insecure tend take these feelings of inadequacy out on their fellow patrons. There are many ways to do this. I can’t possibly list them all but anyone with awareness can spot it.

Some choose a direct approach and emotionally torment those they see as inferior. Others choose a more passive-aggressive way of doing so. These people will try to appear as saints and cover their actions with pseudo-altruism. Generally They have a need to always be the prettiest, the most popular, the smartest, the sports hero and so on. They like being liked. They love having people envying them. Any temporary pleasure and fulfillment achieved in accomplishing these task is quickly replaced with feelings of inadequacy.Kind of like a drug addict searching for that ever elusive high. Once it’s caught it always fades away.

You’re probably asking yourself right now what in Hades this has do with prom. I’ll elaborate. I used to think that all this would simply disappear after the marathon ended. That was before I realized there’s money to made in this giant mess.

Jesus Christ, everyone seems to blow a small fortune in this prom. Some people will spend more than they make in a month on one night! No wonder were in a financial crisis! I guess some have ulterior motives-er there has to be something guys want in return for all this trouble. Now what could that be? Prom dresses cost around 300 dollars minimum and of course don’t forget a limousine. Can’t have anyone see you show up in car! Prom is all about out doing everyone else. Of course none of this is in vain. They give a trophy or crown to the most lavish and beautiful. The more you spend the better your social status. Plus I’m sure those feelings of insecurity dissipate when you’ve spent more than everyone else.

All the while, the corperate fat cats are laughing as they feed caviar to their cats and gold-digging wives. They run a simple scam. Take advantage of human nature. With that I end this abusive of the english language.

Hello, Fellow Patrons!!

Guess what? Yes, your right! It’s time for more erroneous and loquacious ramblings from a half-crazed lunatic who unfortunately has an internet connection.

Most people will not understand what I’m going to say in this next sentence.(you have been fore-warned) I feel pity for those towel-wearing friends of ours whom try to terrorize the “Great Satan.” Please Let me explain before you send me to Guantanamo Bay.

Those poor fools are so sex-starved that, they are willing to die as martyrs. Now most people would say they are pure evil.

Is that so? Granted they are murders but so are marines. What’s the difference?

They both are tools used by those in charge. They are both seen as heroes in their homelands but demons in their enemy’s land.

In many ways, they are holier than fundamentalist Christians here in America. Towel-heads live in a world that the puritans could only dream of. They are taught from birth we are the great evil. I guess from a religious point we kinda are. I mean look around. If you turn on your t.v. you will see a celebration of the deadly sins. Women are paraded like little sex toys, The 2 most addictive drugs are legal, the Ten Commandments can’t even be posted on a court house lawn and probably worst of all, we let homosexuals run rampant in our streets.

Well I guess that’s freedom for you. Some call it sin but evil is only a perspective.

It’s always objective and can neve be quantativley measured in black and white.Take killing for example;  Sometimes it’s okay other times it’s wrong. Which is why I don’t believe in right and wrong. Only our evolutionary Human Nature remains constant.

Human nature is far from perfect. Our leaders realize this and frequently take advantage of it. Terrorist are not monsters. They are just sex-depraved idiots trying to appease god.

Ive just remembered….

That I had forgotten about Friday’s assignment. This one is about superstitions. I guess that is a fairly broad topic so I’ll just choose 3 that I’ve seen in everyday life.

I’m really shocked that in the age of reason and microchips, superstitions are still highly prevalent and widely accepted.Superstitions are irrational and illogical beliefs that range from lucky charms to prayer. People who believe in these, tend to see their life as out of their own control. They would rather blame an unexplainable force (luck,god) for their misfortune than to take responsibility for their own actions.

Take this penny for example:  Some believe that it is lucky because it is on heads. Where this belief came from or why anyone believes this is beyond me.

Friday the 13th is highly regarded as unlucky. Their is actually as story behind this one.

It came about in the middle ages because it was on this day in 1337 that the knights Templar were hunted down and slaughtered. Somehow it became associated with bad luck. I guess it was unlucky for the knights.

Now some people might say that religion is not a superstitious belief. I beg to differ. Religion is the most commonly accepted and most deadly of the superstitions. The majority of  people today believe in some form of a god. When taken to the extreme, religion can lead to severe prejudice, start wars and even cause people to fly planes into buildings.

I’ve heard someone say “If most the world believes in something Then their must be a good reason.” Well around 1000 years ago, the entire world believed the earth was flat, dragons were eating people and the sun revolved around the earth.They did have a “good reason” however, for believing this: it explained things in ways their primitive minds could comprehend. That’s all superstitions are. Simple ways to explain things without the use of logical reasoning.

Assignment? (uhm the next one)

Ive forgotten what assignment number this is. Oh well that’s not really important. Anyhow, It’s that time again, to do another article.

Let’s see;  this time it’s about who I think is a renaissance man. According to Wikipedia, it’s a kind of person who was exceptionally intelligent and remembered for their contribution to many of the  sciences.

I guess Sigmund Freud could fit that description. Without that guy, we would probably still condem crazies with witchcraft and burn them at the stake. He was a man with an avid belief in cause and effect. He applied this belief to his study of human behaivior. Freud is best known as the father of modern psychology. Freud was many things however, A doctor, philosopher, a world renowned psychologist and cocaine enthusiast.

He lived to be 83 and died by assisted suicide with morphine.The greatest seem to always die on their own time without nature deciding for them.

Valentines Day is coming up.

I like the concept of having a day where you blow money on some wretch all in the name of “love”. So I’m going to do something nice for all you poor folks. I’ll get to that later first I want to rant but then I promise I will make that day so more much cheaper for you. I hate hallmark almost as much as I hate Toby Keith. 4 dollars on a card? Why not buy Bottled water and go to an acupuncturist? Sorry that’s me being negative again; there is nothing wrong with paying enormous amounts money for a piece of trash. But hey that’s the “American Dream” right?

Although I never quite understood why it’s called valentines day. He was a martyr or something. Why name it that? That makes less sense than Easter. Ooh Can’t wait till I can rant on Easter!! Why not call it spend-alot-of-money-or-else-you’re-antisocial-and-belong-in-a psych-ward-day? Well never mind. The truth is usually ugly. Besides people would never spend the same amount of cash if we didn’t use an euphemism. But wait isn’t this marvelous day about love?

I’ve just had an epiphany it is! but a different kind of love. The Love of money.

Yes in a minute I will give you something and you will thank yourself for reading this horrible article.

But first more abuse of the English language.

You want to do something Romantic right? Don’t buy chocolate. Chocolate is immoral. Chocolate is loaded with this chemical called phenylamine. Yes your right! It is structurally related to amphetamines. but that’s beside the point. Anyways, Phenylamine creates false sensations of love and aurosel in one’s body. That is just plain wrong.

Instead, Give her this poem. Lie and say you wrote it. It is almost guaranteed to work.(better than enzyte)

remember fellow patrons lieing is never wrong especially to women because of their fluctuating levels of estrogen. Constant whining is also a side-effect of this devilsh compound.

without further adieu Here is the poem.

Feel free to rip it off and claim it as your own. Seriously I am giving you permission. I left it pretty vague so feel free to change it around but use this and recite it to your wretch wearing a cupid costume and fancy sunglasses.(after all this day pretty much celebrates the word cliche’)

You’re the girl

with a golden heart

you’re the girl

who’s beatiful and smart

Ive never known

someone like you

I wish I knew

just what to do

you have the eyes

with the brilliance

of the heavenly skies

I could go on

but for heaven’s sake

that would take

Til’ half past dawn

I’m no poet

and this poem

will definatly show it

but I have to ask

will you give me

a chance

for love & Romance?

Rember kids chemicals are of the devil. Leave chemicals to the chemical enthusiast.

“Anything that’s worth doing is worth doing right”

-The good Doctor, Dr. Hunter s. Thompson.

Assignment #4

I really don’t see what is so impressive about this bird. When a person imitates some one else it’s because of insecurity but when a bird does the same thing it’s amazing? Ive got a tape recorder that does the same thing.

Some people are up in arms about species dieing out. Who cares? Seriously If an animal can’t adapt then it deserves to die. That’s the law of nature er more specifically natural selection. Many species have gone extinct. That happens. Humans eventually will to.

Some animals are probably dieing because of human overpopulation but there is only so much food that can go around. Most people will say I’m going to Hades for saying this; I strongly believe that if something can’t adapt it has every right to die.

Although I do agree this planet has become way to infested with humans. This probably gives me a free one-way ticket to hell but Aides and Abortions do have their positive side.

I don’t know why I’m posting this poem………….

I’m almost ashamed of it.

Fateful Day

I remember the day

I first saw you

I hadn’t a thing to say

All I did was stare

Like a little boy

Looking at Helen of Troy

When I first gazed

Upon those angelic green eyes

I was utterly dazed

With a million butterflies

When you spoke

your voice so sweet

My heart failed to beat

And though it seems

A bit cliche’

you’re the girl of my dreams

I can’t put that

Any other way

Alone I walk

Alone I walk

Through the valley of death

I grow colder

with each breath

This lonely path

has been a blood bath

Alone I walk

with none I talk

They will never know

All Alone I go

I see my reflection

consumed with greed

I grow more wicked

with every deed

It has been my fate

to become what I hate

Alone I walk

Through the pits of hell

I look back

at the angel that fell

Death.

Death can be defined as no longer having existance in this messed up world. Death happens all the time. Death is the great equalizer. It will eventually happen to everyone and everything.  Nothing is immortal, not even the universe.

I’ve have had many friends that have died. May they find peace in the next plain of existence; whatever that may be.

Their is one death in particular, that I am espicailly saddened by. That is the death of Totse.

For those of you who don’t know Totse is an anacronym that stands for “Temple of the Screaming Electron”. Totse was a website created by a man named Jeff Hunter. It was a wealth of knowledge that rivaled that of the Great Library of Alexander the Great. Like the library, totse was burned by barbarians. (not really but it’s a great analogue)

Anyways, Totse was a place for Social rejects, satanists, pagans, jews, bank robbers, anarchists, poets, free thinkers,  paranoid sczitsos and conspirists alike . It was a place where people with ideas found refuge from public ridicule.  Totse had text files ranging from The communist manifesto to alien abductions. Anything your corrupted mind wanted to know could be found. It was truly the “freedom of speech” in action.

May you find peace, Totse. R.I.P. Always remember the truth is out there and never under any circumstances trust a vegetarian. For they are truly self-righteous swine who have an inferiority complexes. Vegetarians and Vegans are generally passive aggressive liars that will turn on even their most valued friends.